I discovered this week that being a stay at home mom has brought me everything my heart desires. Well, almost everything. As it turns out, this job doesn’t come with a salary. Big surprise, I know. Over the past 5-6 years, I really grew accustomed to spending the salary I brought home. If I wanted it, I bought it. Those were the days! When I was growing up, my mom always said that I was spoiled, but not rotten. So I guess after becoming an adult, I decided that I’d go ahead and reach that rotten level. So you can imagine the shock to my system when Joey didn’t jump at the opportunity to buy me the new camera I want…wait… NEED. As it turns out, we just don’t have the $800. He told me I could save up for it. WHAT?! Save for it? I don’t understand. Wait? What exactly is this…what’s it called again…wait? Never heard of it. So I set out on a mission to sell all of my belongings. So far I’m batting zero. (Oh and for those of you that may be interested- I do have a fully functioning kidney just lying around. Make me an offer!) Not receiving instant gratification is really eating away at me. I guess I have a lot to learn.
Our new lifestyle is really quite the adjustment. When we used to say we were going to the mall, we meant The Mall of America. Now we stroll through the sad little mall in Muskogee, and try to remember what all the empty spaces were once upon a time. Trying a new place for dinner used to mean tracking down an exciting place featured on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. Now we have our choice of fast food, or bland buffets full of incredibly obese people who appear to be attempting to break a world record of some sort. We would never chose this place if it wasn’t for our families being here. Never.
Today I pulled out all of my pre-pregnancy clothes. They don’t fit. Not even close. I do have an array of lovely clothes with stylish new stains however. I’m starting a new trend- spit up stains. It really gives your clothes that worn in look. Oh how I long to wear all of my beautiful clothes again.
Now if you’ve read up until this point you must think I am throwing myself a pity party. You would be correct. I’m grieving a life lost. The good news is that these changes in my life are exactly what I asked for. “I’ll eat ramen noodles everyday if I have to.” were my exact words to Joey when I declared my downright refusal to return to work. If I’m being honest that’s what it was. Yes I explained that I felt that it was my calling, my place in the family, what God intended for me and for us- but at the root of it all- I simply refused to return to work after having Gabriel like a child refuses to eat their brussell sprouts.
So here I sit, without my camera. I go for a stroll in a mall that has none of my favorite stores. I wear clothes that are comfy and covered in spit up. I eat with the locals that could eat me and…. I LOVE IT!
As it turns out, I am excited at the challenge to save up my money for something I really want (oh ya- need. I really NEED it Joey.). The mall thing stinks, but being able to go to the mall with family makes it worthwhile. I’ve always enjoyed comfy clothes. They can be flattering. They can! The spit up I have no solution for, but at the core of my heart- I really like it. My stained shirt means I spend all day with the love of my life. As far as the food goes, I refuse to spin that into a positive. It’s a complaint I’m entitled to. I love food. I LOVE FOOD. This isn’t food. Even if it was, the scenery should ruin any sane person’s appetite.
I love my new job. I respect my new boss. I end each day feeling an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. I take pride in working hard. I believe that my place is at home taking care of my family. God has and will continue to bless our lives. I couldn’t ask for more than that.
Except for maybe that camera J